Chaos

There is a conceptual place where chaos theory and Newtonian physics collide. I don’t have sufficient education to comment but, it seems to me, Newtonian physics has a strict causality to it that doesn’t conform to life as we experience it.

What we can take from such contemplation is the effect even small, random events can have on our lives. Turn a particular corner, either literally or symbolically, and our lives can take a radical turn. What was certain becomes doubtful, what was impossible now becomes inevitable.

We all wish we had “guardian angels” who could have stopped us from making what turned out to be bad decisions in life. If there are such critters in reality I have to say mine has a particularly odd sense of humor. Of course, if it weren’t for some bad decisions I probably would have made even worse ones.

I am, right now, engaged in an intentional deviation from normal. About three or four months ago I volunteered to house and dog sit for my brother and sister-in-law in Denver while they are on an extended trip back east. My reasons for doing so were, first of all, I had the time and availability and it would be a good deed I could do. Secondly, I recognize that I have been in a rut. It’s easy to just maintain my regular routine of Cascade, Great Falls, and occasionally Helena doing the same things I do all the time. Spending time in a large metropolitan area is significantly different.

Naturally, since I made the offer, I’ve thought of all the reasons why it was, potentially, a bad idea. I have had anxiety about navigating in and around the city. Yes, I spent many years there but it has grown tremendously and the traffic is far, far worse now. Yes, I used to drive in Los Angeles traffic for years but, twenty years in Cascade has eroded my confidence in my skills and daring.

The thing is, routine becomes more and more desirable with age. I’d really prefer not to have to deal with chaos, with the unexpected, with things I’m not used to. Nowadays, I occasionally find myself grumbling about minor things that disrupt my routine. Therefore, before I get worse, it’s time to upset the apple cart and do something radically different.

Chaos theory, famously, speculated on the possibility that the flutter of a butterfly’s wings could ultimately result in a hurricane thousands of miles away. That was, undoubtedly, merely a device to infer that even small events can, ultimately, result in huge events far removed from the source.

There are possibilities, some foreseeable, that might result from making a deliberate change in routine. There are an infinity of potentially unexpected results. It’s going to be interesting to see what happens. Regardless, it’s worth the risk, worth finding out what detours life might throw in my road. Life is not meant to be lived in drab routine, but rather in exploration and adventure.