I've been to a lot of places

I’ve been to a lot of places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone, you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I’ve also never been in Cognito, either. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips.

Ever heard the phrase “the real McCoy”? It refers to a ground-breaking inventor who revolutionized the railroad industry. Elijah McCoy was born to parents who fled slavery on the Underground Railroad. Elijah trained as a mechanical engineer in Scotland. When McCoy moved back to the U.S. in 1866, he couldn’t find a job in his field. The Railroads would only hire him on as a laborer, not an engineer.

However, McCoy’s hands-on experience led him to invent a lubrication device that saved time and kept the steam engines operating longer. Soon every locomotive had McCoy’s “oil drip cup”.

Imitators and rivals tried to build copies or knockoffs but none worked as well or match the “real McCoy”. After laboring for decades, McCoy was final able to raise enough money to start his own company. He began manufacturing his own inventions. In the early 20th century, McCoy was the Black inventor with the most patents to his name. this was a major accomplishment during the Jim Crow era.

(Jim Crow laws were any state or local laws that enforced or legalized racial segregation. These laws lasted for almost 100 years, from the post-Civil War era until around 1968, and their main purpose was to legalize the marginalization of African Americans.)

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical activity anymore. So far, I haven’t been in Continent; but my travel agent says I’ll be going soon. May have been in Continent, but I don’t remember what country I was in.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often. I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not. People keep telling me I’m in Denial but I’m positive I’ve never been there before!

And more and more I think of the Hereafter — several times a day, in fact. I enter a room and think “What am I here after?” Denial – It’s not just a river in Egypt!

Understand paranoid people better by following them around. It's funny how opportunity knocks just once, but temptation leans on the door bell, calls on the phone and sets off the fire alarm.

We’ve all heard and said ‘close but no cigar’. It brings to mind old fair games and that’s where it originated. You could toss a ring on a peg or knock down a milk bottle and win a cigar. But if you missed, you came close – so close, but no cigar. The first recorded use dates back to 1935 when a movie about Annie Oakley said, “Close, Colonel, but no cigar!” It soon began to pop up in jokes. In 1949 an Ohio cigar store almost burned down in a fire and the local newspaper titled its story “Close But No Cigar!”

A guy died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate, Saint Peter told that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. To gain admittance, a prospective heavenly soul must answer three questions: 1. Name two day of the week that begin with T. 2. How many seconds are in a year? 3. What is God’s first name?

The guy thought for a few minutes and answered: 1. The two days of the week that begin with T are today and tomorrow. 2. There are twelve seconds of each month in a year. 3. God has two first names, and they are Andy and Howard.

Saint Peter said, “Okay, I’ll buy the today and tomorrow, even though it’s not the answer I expected. So your answer is correct. But how did you get twelve seconds in a year, and why did you ever think that God’s first name was either Andy or Howard?

The guy replied, “Well, January second, February second, March second, etcetera.

“Okay, I give,” said Saint Peter. “But what about the God’s first name stuff?”

The guy said, “Well, from the song ‘Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, Andy tells me I am his own’ and the prayer ‘Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name.” Saint Peter let him in without another word.