Glimmers

My Thanksgiving involved 2,000 miles of travel. I drove to Utah to see a friend, then we went to Denver for Thanksgiving, then back to Utah and finally home to Cascade. The myriad of experiences makes simple evaluation a bit complicated.

As I was thinking about it, a post on Facebook by Willie Sloan caught my attention. We’ve all been exposed to the concept of “triggers” over the past few years, those words or actions that cause someone to feel threatened and angry. We’ve seen that in folks who see everything through their political point of view, either Conservative or Liberal. Unfortunately, our current political climate means lots of folks go through life being angry, expecting to feel negatively about most everything.

The post was about the opposite. There is a relatively new psychological term called “glimmer”. A “glimmer” is something that brings us a feeling of joy or safety. Psychologists discuss this relative to the autonomic nervous system which controls involuntary actions like breathing. We instinctively evaluate cues as we go about our days to determine if there is danger. That is a requirement in life. What is new is the realization that the opposite also occurs. There are moments that automatically cause us to feel safe, to feel grateful, loved, joyful.

Think of the automatic response we get when seeing someone we love. Think of the deep-down pleasure we get from petting our dog or cat, feeling the warmth of the sun when we’re chilly. Think of how we feel when a stranger smiles at us.

On my Thanksgiving odyssey, there were lots of glimmers. I didn’t know what to call them until now but, seeing my Denver family was a major glimmer. Although I knew the big details of their lives it’s different to see them in person and know they’re doing well. I know some of the struggles they’ve faced since we were last together but seeing them smile and be obviously happy gave me a deep-down sense of joy.

When we left Denver we had to travel in traffic combined with snow and ice. When the snow stopped at Cheyenne we felt a sense of safety at having relatively easy travel.

When we feel, even momentarily, safe we have the capacity to feel joy, gratitude, empathy, all the positive emotions. We don’t have to sit down and contemplate how we feel and why, it’s automatic.

That does not mean, however, that we can’t deliberately encourage those glimmer moments. We can increase our awareness of such moments and experience more of them.

A simple way of leaving behind negative trigger emotions and increasing our sense of safety and wellbeing is as simple as intentionally breathing deeply. Instead of spinning emotionally, deep breathing resets our autonomic system. Instead of feeling a need for “flight or fight” we feel naturally more centered and capable of positive action. Deliberate awareness of the glimmers of pleasure can be nurtured and, even in holiday busyness and stress, can improve our days.