Cave Heroes

There have been, evidently, three times in human history when humanity was in danger of extinction. About 900,000 years ago the population was down to about 1,280 individuals and that number did not significantly increase for well over 100,000 years. We’ve known for a long time that hominids did not sweep across the globe in one steady progression. There were places where they existed for an extended period only to vanish and not reappear for many thousands of years.

A violent volcanic eruption called Toba on Sumatra, in Indonesia about 70,000 years ago blew about 650 miles of vaporized rock into the air. The ash, dust, and vapor in the atmosphere was so severe, sunlight was dimmed for six years. Both plant and animal life was greatly reduced.

Small bands of humans managed to survive in southern Africa until conditions improved and the population began to increase. It isn’t difficult to imagine that these small bands took shelter in caves as they struggled to survive. What hasn’t been mentioned in any articles is that there were, of course, some very hungry carnivores, lions and bears and such who also used caves and who saw these few humanoids as an easy source of protein. After all, they didn’t have real claws, their teeth were pitifully inadequate for hunting and, furthermore, they slept at night. Creeping up on a sleeping human would be an easy and, I suppose, tasty supplement to their diet.

I would like to propose what the secret weapon was the humans used to survive. The band would put women and children further back in the cave. After all, they had to be protected if we were to escape extinction. Additionally, some of the men were inadequate to the task of guarding the entrance to the cave. Some just didn’t have what it took.

We owe our existence to the bravest few, those with a particular adaptation that saved all of humanity. We owe our existence to the brave, the few, the snorers! Those brave men who snored loudly slept at the entrance to the cave!

Cave bears or lions looking for a happy meal would smell the humans and, licking their chops would head for the cave where the almost defenseless critters would be found and, even better, would be sleeping and trapped.

Then, as certain death approached, the fearsome beasts paused. From the cave came a truly awful sound, a nasty, growling, terrible noise from some horrid creature. Hungry as they were, it was prudent to slow down and investigate.

To their dismay, they discovered there were several creatures making the infernal racket. To attempt to snatch a sleeping snack could mean being attacked by a whole pack.

And so, the carnivore, still hungry, slunk away to see if they could catch something easier.

Yes, we owe our very existence to our heroic ancestors who made sufficient noise to scare off the terrors of the night! If you know a serious snorer, be sure to thank them!